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In the testing times we live in, it’s not uncommon to hear about someone being depressed – or even suicidal. And, at festive occasions in particular, with the pressure to be happy and upbeat, it can be downright unbearable. When the despair and hopelessness reaches a certain point, you can just want it to end.
If you’re experiencing depression, sadness or suicide thoughts, it may not seem that way, but there IS hope. Taking one small step at a time, your life can transform. Instead of dreading each moment, you can wake up each day imbued with a sense of joy and gratitude for the precious gift of life.
Beginnings
Whatever the origin of your depression (perhaps job loss or estrangement from a partner or separation by death), you CAN emerge from this dark tunnel, re-gain your former zest and purpose, and re-establish your place among the living.
Here are some tools, suggested by renowned consciousness and change facilitator, Dr. Dain Heer, to help release hopelessness and promote happiness:
1. Stop thinking something is wrong with you and/or trying to fix yourself.
When we’re depressed and – try as we might – we can’t cultivate that “happy feeling”, we often conclude there’s something wrong with us, and so begin desperate attempts to remedy this. We spend so much time judging our speech, actions and appearance, and we are so entrenched in the belief that we are WRONG.
But, what if we could release this fixation? Would we be willing to consider that we’re actually not as hopelessly flawed and “bad” as we’ve erroneously concluded? Turn it around and start asking yourself every day what’s RIGHT about yourself that you keep failing to see. Imagine how much lighter you’d feel by releasing the constant self-judgment.
2. Acknowledge there’s no ”right” answer.
How long have you been searching for the “right” answer? That nebulous and elusive thing that will somehow fix and change everything.
If you could only do this, maybe you could be happy! Your life could then fall into place. Hmmm…
Funnily enough, Dr. Heer discovered, from personal experience, that it’s the questions – not answers – that are key components in effecting change. He proposes that “questions open the door to all possibilities [and] take you beyond all the conclusions” that you have about life, others and about yourself.
Two significant questions to put to yourself are: “What else is possible?” and “How does it get any better than this?” No matter how it turns out, just ask these questions.
Open yourself to the possibility that you CAN move past your depression. Open up yourself to the possibility that life can indeed be a joyful and exhilarating experience.
3. Clear the mental clutter.
Does it seem as though your mental chatter is incessant? How many times have you unsuccessfully tried to find your mental cut-off switch?
Dr. Heer suggests trying to wrap our minds around the fact that 98 per cent of our thoughts and feelings don’t actually belong to, or originate with us. Much like a virus, we pick them up from our environment. He likens us to super-sized psychic radio receivers that pick up everything.
Just verbalising this truth can take a big load off. This one question, “Who does this belong to?” can truly be a life saver.
If you’re struggling with depression, for the next three days, for every thought and feeling that crops up, ask yourself, “Who does this belong to?” If you feel lighter after posing the question, these thoughts and feelings were never really yours. Recognising this allows you to stop trying to fix what never belonged to you in the first place.
Are you able to see yourself as a valuable gift? Are you willing to see yourself as a meaningful contribution to the world? Wherever you are at this moment, and no matter how low you’re feeling, just KNOW the possibility for joy and sheer adventure exists.
In all situations, continue asking, “How does it get any better than this?” and “What else is possible?”
These two questions are the beginning of a new reality and exciting journey for you – one you can experience NOW.
Rosemarie Layne, who is a holder of an Associate Degree in Mass Communication, is a wholistic health advocate and the owner of Rose’s Wellness Hub.